Let Me Be Selfish
by lalalacanthearyou
Summary: Just another story of what happens after the fated honeymoon of Yukari and Hiroyuki. First fanfic so please be kind.


**This is my first fanfic so sorry if it's not that good! I tried my best! Also, sorry if there's something similar to this on the site already!  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Paradise Kiss, if I did, I'd dress much better than I do now.**

* * *

The theater rang with laughter. Yukari grimaced. It was a comedy, but as she sat there, she found more tears streaming down her cheeks. She eventually looked down. She knew a part of her still loved him, but she didn't know it'd hurt this much.

"I think I'm going to use the bathroom." She said slowly getting up. Hiro looked at her and gave a small nod.

"I'll be here." He said back, with that she walked outside.

She looked into the mirror. Since it was the premiere, she couldn't help but wonder if _he_ was here. Either way, she didn't think she wanted to run into him. She didn't know if she would've been able to take seeing him.

_Look at me_, she thought, _10 years later and I'm still a fool. _

She eventually gathered herself and walked out of the bathroom. She'd finish the play, she wouldn't run.

As the curtains closed and the theater echoed of applause, the audience started making their way out and the theatre slowly emptied. Outside in the hall, as she made her way to the exit with Hiro, she couldn't help but lock eyes with someone. They were the same eyes she'd known so well. The same eyes that stared deeply at her own, the last thing she saw before they shared kisses in the alley before the Paradise Kiss studio. The contacts were gone now, but they were the same eyes.

She forced herself to look away, and made her way out the door, hoping it was the last time she'd ever see them again. A small part of her though hoped, that she'd meet them again.

Late at night she found herself awake. They were in the hotel now and she was asleep in Hiro's arms. She hasn't been able to get him out of her mind. She felt horrible, she had a husband now. She was on her honeymoon, but rather her thoughts being filled by images of her husband, she found it was being filled with thoughts of him. He looked the same, aged a bit, but still the same handsome face that she had once loved...and maybe will love for the rest of her life.

The next morning, Hiro seemed to come down with a cold. She didn't want to leave him alone, but at his insistence she found herself walking through the city by herself. A small part of her wondered if he was faking, but immediately shook it off.

She didn't know how many stores she had been to already. She felt it was around her 32nd or 35th store by then. She had bought so many things already. She knew what she was doing though, she was trying to drown her thoughts of _him _by shopping away_. _

It was nighttime now as she made her way through the city, she eventually found herself in the middle of Times Square. It was so crowded, there were so many people, but she felt so alone. She suddenly felt someone tap her shoulder. She was scared to turn around fearing it could be him, it was a silly thought, but she still feared. She finally turned around to face another tourist asking for directions. After politely explaining she was a tourist herself, the tourist apologized and thanked her anyway. After the tourist moved out of her line of vision, she found the same eyes staring into hers once again.

"Yukari..." he whispered. It was so soft, but she could hear it above everything else. It was as if the whole place was put on mute except him.

"Yukari." He said again, his tone was more sure now. _Damn that voice_, she thought, she was losing herself, falling again. She felt her control slipping.

"Long time no see, George." She forced his name out.

"Likewise." He responded, but carefully this time. Awkward silence followed, they continued to look at each other, their eyes unwavering. He suddenly seemed to snap out of it, his eyes filling with the same old cockiness.

"You haven't changed," he continued, "Even after all these years you seem to have me seduced once again." Yukari suddenly blinked and relaxed.

"I'm sorry but I'm _married_ now. I'm not interested." She responded rather icily. He felt a sort of jealousy when she said married.

"You'd think 10 years would've taught you some warmth." He rebutted. She felt herself tense, 10 years and he still knew how to get under her skin.

"You'd think 10 years would've taught you some consideration." He laughed.

"Same old Yukari, huh?"

"You haven't changed much either."

"How 'bout dinner?" He asked her, changing the subject. She looked at it him rather cautiously. "What? Now I'm offended, what's wrong with two friends going out for dinner?" He followed.

"Fine. Just dinner." She emphasized the words 'just dinner', but to be honest she was doing it for more her sake rather than George's.

He stuck his arm out to her, "Shall we?" he asked.

She walked passed him, ignoring his arm, "Let's just go."

* * *

They found themselves at a quaint, little Italian restaurant. After they told the waiter what they wanted, a silence immediately followed.

He laughed, "Heard you became a top model in Japan."

"I'm old now, getting jobs isn't as easy anymore. So I'm getting into acting now."

"Acting huh? Never thought you'd be much of an actor." he pondered.

"Was that meant to be an insult?" She questioned, she found herself getting annoyed, but not angry, she couldn't find it in herself to become angry.

"Take it as you will." He said simply.

Deciding to change the subject, "How's your career?" she asked.

"10 years and all you can ask about is my career? You already know don't you? Now, ask me what you really want to." She looked at him aghast. She couldn't believe it, he could still read her and understand her so well.

"Fine. I guess I wanted to ask, if there's a Mrs. Koizumi now?" She looked away.

His answer caught her off guard, "No. There isn't. I know there's a Mr. Hayasaka now right? Or rather, you're now Mrs. Tokumori." He said the last part with disdain. Yukari decided to ignore it, and thanked heaven that the food had finally arrived.

The rest of the meal was met with silence until they finally both finished their meals.

"Thanks for the food. It was nice seeing you again, goodbye." Yukari said, a bit rushed. She made her way out to the restaurant's door only to find her wrist caught by him.

"You didn't think you'd get away that easy, right?" He smirked.

"Look, I told you right 'just dinner'."

"At least let me bring you to your hotel." He offered.

"No need." And she walked off, after a few blocks she found herself lost. _Damn, I'm so stupid. My stupid pride! I should've taken the ride..._she thought. She tried to make her way back to the restaurant so she could backtrack her way to the hotel. After a few minutes of walking she sighed. _Damn, I'm lost. _She thought bitterly.

"Lost?" That voice...she found herself filled with annoyance.

"No, just lost something." She quickly excused herself and tried to get past him. He grabbed her arm. His damn smirk was getting to her.

"You know you should have just said yes when I offered to bring you to your hotel."

"It's walking distance."

"Then we'll walk." _He just had a response to everything today, huh? _She sighed. There was nothing she could do.

* * *

They walked a few blocks in silence, around 10 minutes had passed. Maybe the hotel wasn't walking distance after all. She walked behind him and sighed. He stopped and she walked right into him.

"Why'd you stop all of a sudden?" She questioned, her annoyance was rising again.

"Huh? We're here."

"Oh. Well thanks. I guess this is goodbye." She waved slightly and began to walk off. He caught her arm, he was doing that a lot today huh?

"That's not a proper goodbye." He half pouted.

"What is?" She said, she felt her annoyance rising.

He pulled her into a hug. She felt herself go weak. His smell. It blanketed her and her senses. She was losing herself in him. A simple hug was all that was needed to drive her crazy. _Hiro. I'm married now. I can't... _her thoughts were beginning to fade.

"That's how friends say goodbye." He whispered into her ear. "And this is how we say goodbye..."

Before she knew it the gap between their lips was gone. She was locked in a deep kiss with him, their lips meeting, and meeting again. She wasn't thinking anymore. She broke off. It wasn't right, and she ran. She ran into the hotel lobby, away from him.

* * *

He smirked. So many years and she still had such an effect on him. He looked at his hand. He had slipped her cell phone out of her pocket and into his hand. _Sorry, _he thought, _I'm just not ready for a goodbye yet. Just let me be selfish this one time._

She leaned on the elevator walls. Was she stupid? How could she do that? She was angry at herself for what she did to Hiro, but she was angrier because he still knew how to get to her, even after all of those years. She was furious because she knew she still loved him.

* * *

Yukari walked into the room. Hiro looked up and smiled at her.

"How was your day?" He asked joyfully, "I feel so much better now." He smiled.

She felt so angry, so guilty. She didn't know. She dropped all her bags on the floor and half ran to him. She kissed him deeply, and she didn't stop. That was the first night she slept with her husband.

Hiro was fast asleep and she walked over to the window, wrapped in a thin blanket. She stood there and stared outside. She looked back at Hiro, she slept with him, but for the wrong reason. She had just felt so guilty. She sank down to floor and cried...

* * *

The next day, Hiro went on, talking about how he was excited to see the Statue of Liberty and the other New York landmarks. Yukari gave him a small smile, the smile never quite reaching her eyes.

Three days had passed since she had seen George. She was so focused on getting him off her mind, she hadn't even stopped to think of her missing phone. She spent her days with Hiro, trying her best to put on a happy face.

The next morning, as they got ready for the day, the phone rang.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Is this Ms. Hayasaka."

"Hm yes." She frowned at the _Ms_. Hayasaka. She wasn't even sure how they knew her name. She was sure they reserved the room on Hiro's name.

"You have a message at the front desk. Would you like to pick it up?"

"Um, yeah. I'll be down immediately." She hung up the phone. Hiro was in the shower, Yukari knocked on the door.

"Hiro, I'll be back, just going to pick something up downstairs." She heard a faint response from Hiro, and left the room.

She got to the front desk and asked about her message. The man working handed it to her and she thanked him.

**Yukari, Meet me at the same place, Time Square. 8:00 pm. Have something you lost. **

**-George.**

It was so short, but knowing it was from him just sparked something in her. _Something I lost..._ she thought. What was she missing? Now that she thought about it, where was her cell phone. She had it on that day, but her pockets had felt empty when she came back to the hotel. It was still early 9 in the morning. It'd be a while before she saw him, but she couldn't help but wish time would go by faster.

* * *

The day was pretty uneventful, just some simple sightseeing and shopping. Still though, the days were enough to take her thoughts off of _him_ for a while. She glanced at her watch. 7:42, it read. She hadn't noticed the time and panic started to surge through her. She almost considered ditching her phone for a minute before deciding she knew the phone was just an excuse. She just wanted to see him.

As they walked Times Square came into view, but they weren't heading there.

"Hiro, it almost slipped my mind but yesterday I met one of my modeling friends. She's staying here in New York and she asked if I could have dinner with her. I hope you don't mind but I just haven't seen her in so long..." She kinda hoped he'd ask her to stay.

"Go ahead, I don't mind. In fact I'm tired, so I'll head back to the hotel." He explained.

"Oh alright, I'll see you later." She kissed swifty him on the cheek and left.

"I'm surprised, he let you go this easily?" They were walking through the streets now, she didn't know where they were going.

"I told him I was with an old friend from my modeling days..." She explained.

"Lying still?" He smirked.

"Like you ever had a problem with it."

"Guess not."

"My phone." she demanded.

"You'll have to come and get it. Taxi!" He yelled and he raised his arm up. He slipped in and pulled her in with him.

"Where are we going?" she questioned.

"Somewhere..." Frustrated already she didn't want to be angered too. She just looked out the window, watching as the lights zipped by the window.

They finally arrived at a tall building. It was in the residential area and Yukari realized it was an apartment.

"Your place?" she questioned cautiously.

"I was hoping we'd have dinner here."

"I'm not hungry." Right then her stomach growled and betrayed her.

"Sure you're not, now quit being stubborn and come." He scolded her making her feel like a child again.

* * *

His apartment was huge, and for lack of a better word...nice. It reminded her a bit of the one in Japan.

"Pasta?" He asked her.

"Sure..." She said absentmindedly.

Before she knew it she was eating on the kitchen counter with him. She had a bowl of pasta and a glass of wine on her left. Suddenly she remembered why she was there, or partly there.

"My phone." She said.

"Here." He took it out of his pocket and handed it to her.

"You had it all along." She laughed, this sounded all too familiar.

"Tell me Yukari, now that you have it, are you going to leave?" He asked her.

"I guess, I should..." she started.

"Then I'd say goodbye then, but tell me what if I had said 'Don't go'?" This was becoming all too familiar, and he had planned it that way.

"I have a husband now..."

"Then you'd best leave." She knew she didn't want to. He knew she didn't. He was doing it again, playing with her feelings. She felt her anger rising.

"Damn, I really hate you! Stop playing with me! You've always played with my feelings and you're doing it now too!" He grabbed her wrist and kissed her hand gently. She tried to pull away, but he was too strong.

"I want you." He looked at her dead straight. His eyes piercing her own, almost pleading. He drank his wine and finished it quickly, still holding on to her. He pulled her quickly and their lips met.

It was a rough kiss, but it was so passionate. It was a kiss that tasted of longing, lust, anger, and love all in one. _Please, just let me be selfish this one time. _She thought.

He moved down her neck, trailing kisses as he went. She knew where it was going, but she didn't care, she wanted it as bad as he did.

* * *

She woke up early the next morning, for a second she wondered where she was and then she saw him. Even after so long he drove her crazy, his scent lingered on her and the sheets, and she couldn't help but take a guilty pleasure in it. She remembered calling Hiro last night telling him that she would be staying with her friend, she wondered if he knew in the back of his mind she had meant George.

She stared at him a moment longer. She kissed his lips gently and decided this was it. This was really goodbye and no matter how much it pained her, she'd do it. She got out of the bed and stared at him one last time, a tear rolled down her cheek. She hadn't told him, but her flight was that afternoon.

"Goodbye George." She dressed and walked out of the door, to the hotel where her husband waited for her.

On the bed, George kept his eyes shut, but he couldn't help but a single tear roll down his right eye.

* * *

Yukari entered the hotel room to find her husband on the bed still asleep, she kissed him and he smiled.

* * *

Ten years later, Yukari found herself in her living room. The room was lit by sunlight that filtered in through the windows.

"I know Miwako! I'll bring them over!" Yukari spoke to the phone, "Yeah, I know I'll talk to you later." She laughed. She wouldn't stop calling until she brought her kids over to see her again.

Yukari found herself staring at her son, Hiroshi.

"You know your eyes are just like your father's..." She said.

"Really? Grandma and Grandpa always wonder where I got my eyes from!" He grinned.

"Is that so?" She laughed, a small musical laugh.

"Brother!" A little girl walked in, "Let's play!" The little girl pulled her brother away and the two ran out of the room.

As the two ran out, "Maybe they're a little warmer than his..." She pondered.

* * *

_12 years later..._

"Mr. Tokumori!" Someone yelled.

"Please, that's my father, call me Hiroshi." Hiroshi smiled.

"Ah yes, you're the photographer right?" Hiroshi nodded, "Ah yes, yes, yes, the designer would like to talk to you." Hiroshi followed and was led into a room.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." Hiroshi held his hand outstretched. The older man shook it.

"Nice to meet you Mr...Tokumori? Was it?"

"Please, Mr. Tokumori is my father." with that the older man looked at him, especially his eyes.

"What was your full name again?" the older man asked.

"Hiroshi. Hiroshi George Tokumori." He said confused. The older man let out a laugh. It wasn't a bitter one, an amused one.

"Nice to meet you Hiroshi. My name is George Koizumi." The older man stared at his eyes one more. _You would have never told me, huh, Yukari? _George thought.

"I look forward to working with you, Hiroshi."


End file.
